1 Month Post-Chemo

It's been a month since I finished chemo. I can't even begin to tell you how awesome it feels to have energy again. I didn't realize just how drained I was until I felt good again. Each week over the last 4 weeks I felt myself getting stronger and stronger. I can finally say I feel pretty much like my old self again, energy-wise.

I took another picture of my hair growth, so this is 4 weeks (1 month) post-chemo as compared to the last photo which was 2 weeks post-chemo. It's not a ton of growth, but enough to notice:


I started radiation yesterday (Tuesday, March 10th) and will have a total of 21 treatments. They are quick and painless. The worst part is having to wear a very constricting mask that holds your head in the exact same position each time so you can't move your head. They do that so they can be sure they are only shooting the beams of radiation where they need to go and not anywhere else and that they shoot them in the same place each time I go. They have marks on the mask to help guide them with that.

Other than radiation, I'm trying to put all thoughts of cancer behind me and move on with my life. I'm trying to get healthier, too. Ever since I had Logan I've been a bit overweight and I'm tired of carrying excess baggage around and want to feel good about myself again. I started a diet and exercise plan on Thursday. My goal is to lose between 25 and 30 pounds. I'm keeping a food diary and writing down EVERYthing that I eat, calories, fat grams, carbs, and protein and also I have started walking down my street from my driveway to the end and back which turns out to be 1.2 miles each day. I've done this every day since Thursday. I'm really, really hoping to keep myself motivated and lose some weight and feel and look good again.

I do have some not so great news to report, though. Part of the thing that sparked me to have the neck biopsy done in the first place (which led to me finding out I had cancer) was the hives/rash I've been battling. Interesting enough, the hives almost completely disappeared from the chemotherapy. With each of my 4 chemo treatments the hives seemed to lessen and lessen. By the last one, I thought the hives were completely gone. So I figured that the hives must certainly be caused by the cancer after I was reported as being cancer-free after my last treatment. Unfortunately, the hives are back. They showed back up almost exactly 1 month after stopping chemo. I still don't know their root cause, but as always, they get worse whenever I'm hot (like outside mowing grass or exercising) and/or they get worse during my menstrual cycle. I am going to see how radiation goes, but if after 21 rounds of radiation I'm still breaking out with hives then I'm going back to my general doctor to see if he can run more tests. I hate living with them. They itch and become painful.

I know I've been a lot of trouble begging you all for prayer requests, but if you could please pray for me to stay cancer-free and pray that my hives disappear once and for all OR that I find the cause of them I would appreciate it sooo, soo much!

After the 2nd Chemo & My New Bald Debut

On Monday, before going for chemo, I had blood work done and met with Dr. Voelzke. My blood work came back fantastic. Surely that's in part to the "growth shot" as they call it (Neulesta) to make my body's bone marrow produce more blood cells. With my blood cell counts (CBC) being in the range they want, that's always good because it means no delays for me on my scheduled chemo. The doctor also did a physical exam of my lymph nodes, and already after only 1 chemo treatment he said he only felt what seemed like muscle fullness in my neck, but could not feel the enlarged nodes, whereas before he could easily feel them through my skin. So this is good news also... it means the nodes are shrinking in size. And that was after only ONE chemo!!!

I had my 2nd chemo treatment after meeting with the doctor. It seems to have gone more smoothly this time for me. I had already gone through it all once so I knew exactly what to expect, and since I'd gone through with flying colors (no drug reactions) the first time, they could speed the drip a little bit so it didn't take as long as it did the first time. They started me on my IV around 12:45 or 1:00 and we were done at exactly 3:30. I didn't feel quite as tired this time around, but definitely felt more light-headed which worried me as I thought I might get really bad nausea once I got home, but nope... I had none. After getting home, I went down for a nap at 5:30 and didn't get up until 9:30. Then I watched t.v. for a while and fell asleep around 1:30 and woke up at 11:30 the next morning. So I got a great night's sleep plus that nap.

Tuesday my friend Mike drove me to get the Neulesta shot. That went easy as pie again and we were in and out of the office in about 10 minutes. Afterward, we took Logan and had dinner out and then came home. I was feeling brave and definitely felt ready to take the next step... my hair was getting messy and falling out in larger pieces and clumps each day. It was becoming depressing combing so much of it out each time I'd shower or even feeling it all coming out while I was washing my hair in the shower. I was ready. So with the moral support of my best friend, Mike, and my grandma Hilda and, of course, my little cheerleader, Logan, we cut and shaved my hair.

I have to admit, I'm really, really proud of myself. I thought I'd cry or bawl my eyes out. I didn't. I was so strong. I believe I was truly ready to do it. I'd mentally prepared myself for a couple of weeks now as to how it was going to be without hair. All the praying I've done and others has done has truly been working in my life. I might have cancer, but I'm at the strongest I've ever been in my life. I owe that all to God and the support of my many friends and family praying for me and just sending so much love my way. And before you go thinking I'm all heroic and super-woman-like, I'm not. I'm just like you, or anyone else you know. When faced with something like this, a person's natural instincts are going to tell them to fight it. Hard core. And that's what I'm doing. There is no losing here for me. That's just not an option. My only viewpoint can ever possibly be optimism and positive vibes!

So before I say goodbye for this post, I will leave you with a few fun pictures of my hair-cutting experience! Enjoy!

Some "Before" Shots


Mike, the scary hair stylist:

Cutting of the ponytail:

Me holding the cut-off ponytail:

My hacked-up haircut, more hacking needed, almost ready for the clippers:


My little cheerleader, Logan, even let us give him a ponytail:

Bald is beautiful! Here I am now!

1 Chemo Treatment Down, 3 More To Go!

I know I've been slacking in updates on the blog. For that, I apologize. It's been rather hectic around here with the Christmas holidays, family in town, and starting chemotherapy and not feeling "up" to posting. But all is well, and here I am, back with the latest news!

BIG NEWS FIRST! Logan celebrated his 2nd birthday on December 20th! Happy Birthday, Logan! Mama's little boy is getting so big! Here he is with his birthday cake, and HERE is a link to his birthday pictures!



Let me just say, I had an absolutely fantastic Christmas holiday. I got to see my parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, tons of cousins, and even my brother and his girlfriend came up to see us for a few days. It was so wonderful to have all of us together, just like old times when we were kids. Logan had a BLAST opening gifts. And before you go worrying about him, please know he's among the most spoiled of 2-year-olds you'll ever meet. The number of toys that child received is out of this world. He's happy as a pig in... mud!

HERE is a link to all of our Christmas Eve and Christmas Day pictures!


I am so glad I was able to begin my chemo after Christmas because it really wore me out. I went on Monday, the 29th, for treatment #1. They checked my blood cell counts first, to watch their progress along the way. Then a bit later they brought me back to the treatment room to get me all hooked up. This will sound really odd to say, but I actually had "fun" at chemo. I met so many other people going through cancer and heard their stories. We all shared our trials and treatments and things to expect during the process. It was nice to be in a room with other people who knew what it feels like to be going through all of this. Yes, sitting in a chair for 4 hours hooked up to an IV drip isn't the most fun thing in the world, but why not make the best of it? I met a sweet lady named Debbie who's fighting mouth cancer and her daughter-in-law, Jane. They were sitting right next to me. Lee and I chatted with them the entire 4 hours or so that we were there and even played a card game of Rummy. I have to say, too, my husband is such a trouper. I don't know many men who'd sit patiently for so long chatting with a bunch of women about everything from hair loss to mouth sores to wigs, etc. You name it, and Lee was right there chiming in. He's such a wonderful husband and I don't give him enough credit. I am so truly blessed to have his support.

The four hour treatment didn't seem to take as long as it should have felt like. Talking and keeping busy with the other patients made the time pass and not seem like such a chore. After that, I went upstairs to the Cancer Resource Center at Memorial Hospital. They have such a lovely area set up for patients going through cancer. There are support groups, free massages, TONS of pamphlets and books you can check out, nurses to answer any questions while you go through side effects of chemo. They even give out free hats and wigs. It is so nice, and I hope to attend a lymphoma support group soon and meet others experiencing what I'm going through.

That night, after getting home from my chemo treatment, I was literally the most exhausted I've ever been. I had a baby 2 years ago and never felt as tired after giving birth as I did after this chemo treatment. I was soooo tired. I'm sure all the chemo drugs were a huge part of my fatigue, but alllll the talking I did there surely didn't help. All in all, it was a jam-packed, totally busy day. I was in bed for the night at 7:30!!!

Tuesday I had to go back down to the oncologist's office for a "growth shot" as they call it... basically, it's a shot to stimulate my bone marrow to produce more white blood cells since the chemotherapy can make the blood cell counts drop too low. They want to be sure I won't be way too overprone to infections. After that, Mom and John and I went shopping to a local beauty supply store where I bought some wig liners and got a great deal on 2 cute wigs, too. Then we went out to eat. I still have my appetite, so that's good!

I have been SO extremely lucky. My body responded well to the first chemo treatment thus far. I got no horrible side effects, no major nausea, just some light-headedness. I attribute that part to the fact that I have some of the best anti-nausea meds on the market. Thank the Lord for good medicines. The worst part has been just how tired it's made me. Today, now 3 days after the treatment, I do have a bit of a sore mouth which is a normal side effect of one of the drugs. Eating popsicles, sherbet, drinking lots of water and taking cough drops seems to help that. For all those wondering or unfamiliar with chemo, YES, I still do have my hair... BUT only for about 2 weeks. My hair will probably all fall out within the next week and a half. I have a few cute hats, a pretty scarf, and a couple of wigs already in place for when I do, inevitably, lose my hair. I'm sure that part is going to be pretty emotional for me, but at least I feel prepared with many options for head gear. I'll do another post sometime soon modeling my wigs and hats! :)

Now that the holidays have passed, I'll try to be better about posting here about how I'm feeling and doing. Thank you all so much for the well-wishes, prayers, thoughts, phone calls, and cards. I love you all so much and realize how much I am loved and I cannot thank you all enough for the support you've given to me when I need it so much!

HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYONE! Here's wishing you all a happy, healthy, and better year in 2009!

* Edited to add: OK, after much consideration, I've decided these photos are just too funny NOT to share, so without further ado, here are some of me in 2 of my wigs... and my mom wearing one of mine and Lee being supportive wearing a wig of my Mom's, too! Isn't he cute? :)

Me in the first one, both front and back view:



Mom modeling my other, longer wig:


Me, in the same wig Mom had on, pulled half back with a clip:


My cute husband, being supportive as always!

Feeling optimistic & a huge thank you!

I just want to say thank you so, so, so, so much to all of my friends who've taken the time to send me a quick little message or e-mail. It means so much to me that you're thinking about me and praying for me and sending good thoughts my way. There is much to be said about the outlook we take on things. I really feel like "attitude is everything" and by staying positive, things will take a positive turn and I'll have a good outcome.

It feels like, for the past several days, all I've been talking about with people is what's going on with me. To some, maybe it's weird to want to keep talking about this since it's such a scary thing. But, for me, I'm finding it's really theraputic to discuss (even though it does still seem surreal to me) and it's a relief to talk with those close to me about my fears and worries and what's on my mind. I need an outlet to vent my feelings, frustrations, and worries. Thank you all for even taking the time to listen to me and for just being so supportive.

Before this, I never knew anyone personally who had received a cancer diagnosis. I never knew just how scary it was for them. Mostly, I never realized how even the smallest gestures or what may seem like the most minute phrases truly mean to someone who is ill. It's got to be hard on the healthy person's end as well... I imagine it's hard to find words that you feel truly convey how sorry you are to hear the bad news about someone and to find a way to tell them you care. I just want to say, it doesn't really matter what you say, no matter how silly or small it may seem. Just taking the time to say, "I'm thinking about you" or "I'm praying for you." means SO much.

On that note, enough mushy stuff... I got a beautiful Christmas Cactus plant delivered from the local florist shop today from my mom and stepdad, John. I was filled with such joy to see this. It really brightened my day! Here's a picture of it... I can't wait to see it bloom!!!



Thanks again to all of you. I love you all so much! Please remember to always look for beauty in every day. If any good can come out of me having cancer, it's that I'm looking at EVERYTHING in an entirely different way. I'm "stopping to smell the roses". Here's a picture I snapped earlier this evening of the purple-ish pink sky as the sun was setting through the woods across from my house. I thought it was so pretty and just wanted to remember that moment.