I have hair! Not a lot, but it's hair!!

As I mentioned a few posts ago, my hair is really growing good now! It's been a while since I posted a hair growth picture, so I just took some to show how much it's grown. I still look like a boy with a crew cut, but I don't care... I have hair! I am just so happy to have SOME hair! Don't mind the bad pictures... no make-up on me is a scary thing!

This is approximately 3 months worth of growth since finishing chemo:

2 Weeks Post-Chemo

It feels SO DARN GOOD to know that I'm done with chemotherapy. I never got very sick, just lightheaded, dizzy, and super duper tired, but that was enough for me to know I hated it. I hated sitting in that chemo chair for hours and watching that poisin drip into my veins. I hated knowing that I'd feel like crud with no energy for almost a week after. I am soooooooooo lucky to have only needed 4 chemo treatments total. I know I'm lucky. I can't even begin to imagine having to go through months and months of it like some people have to. I am so relieved to be done. It feels like a weight has been lifted to know the cancer is gone. It seems a little surreal to me, but I know it's gone and I already feel so much better knowing I'm this much closer to getting my life back. I look forward to the days of not thinking about how many doctors appointments I have that week.

Another thing I look forward to, BIG TIME, is having hair again. Being bald SUCKS. My hair was not gorgeous by any means, but man do I miss it. Having none will really make you realize how much your hair does for your total well-being (as stupid as that sounds.) For a woman, our hair is a big part of what makes us feel feminine and let me tell you, I haven't felt very sexy being bald. Not to mention, my head gets cold all the time!

Now that chemo is behind me... I was thinking, since it's going to be a long, slow process... maybe it would be kind of fun to document my hair growing back. I figure I'll try to snap a picture every couple of weeks or so to really see the growth. I know, for me, looking at myself every day it's going to feel like forever and an eternity until I have hair again... I think looking at the pictures will really help me see that it really IS growing, even though it feels like it's not!

I don't think my hair ever really stopped growing completely since I never got "shiny" bald like Mr. Clean as some chemo patients do, but it did thin out everywhere overall. So I think shaving my head would have been necessary anyway. It really seems to have grown in the last week or so and now I have a nice, thin layer of fuzz.

2 WEEKS POST-CHEMO, sportin' my fuzz!

After the 2nd Chemo & My New Bald Debut

On Monday, before going for chemo, I had blood work done and met with Dr. Voelzke. My blood work came back fantastic. Surely that's in part to the "growth shot" as they call it (Neulesta) to make my body's bone marrow produce more blood cells. With my blood cell counts (CBC) being in the range they want, that's always good because it means no delays for me on my scheduled chemo. The doctor also did a physical exam of my lymph nodes, and already after only 1 chemo treatment he said he only felt what seemed like muscle fullness in my neck, but could not feel the enlarged nodes, whereas before he could easily feel them through my skin. So this is good news also... it means the nodes are shrinking in size. And that was after only ONE chemo!!!

I had my 2nd chemo treatment after meeting with the doctor. It seems to have gone more smoothly this time for me. I had already gone through it all once so I knew exactly what to expect, and since I'd gone through with flying colors (no drug reactions) the first time, they could speed the drip a little bit so it didn't take as long as it did the first time. They started me on my IV around 12:45 or 1:00 and we were done at exactly 3:30. I didn't feel quite as tired this time around, but definitely felt more light-headed which worried me as I thought I might get really bad nausea once I got home, but nope... I had none. After getting home, I went down for a nap at 5:30 and didn't get up until 9:30. Then I watched t.v. for a while and fell asleep around 1:30 and woke up at 11:30 the next morning. So I got a great night's sleep plus that nap.

Tuesday my friend Mike drove me to get the Neulesta shot. That went easy as pie again and we were in and out of the office in about 10 minutes. Afterward, we took Logan and had dinner out and then came home. I was feeling brave and definitely felt ready to take the next step... my hair was getting messy and falling out in larger pieces and clumps each day. It was becoming depressing combing so much of it out each time I'd shower or even feeling it all coming out while I was washing my hair in the shower. I was ready. So with the moral support of my best friend, Mike, and my grandma Hilda and, of course, my little cheerleader, Logan, we cut and shaved my hair.

I have to admit, I'm really, really proud of myself. I thought I'd cry or bawl my eyes out. I didn't. I was so strong. I believe I was truly ready to do it. I'd mentally prepared myself for a couple of weeks now as to how it was going to be without hair. All the praying I've done and others has done has truly been working in my life. I might have cancer, but I'm at the strongest I've ever been in my life. I owe that all to God and the support of my many friends and family praying for me and just sending so much love my way. And before you go thinking I'm all heroic and super-woman-like, I'm not. I'm just like you, or anyone else you know. When faced with something like this, a person's natural instincts are going to tell them to fight it. Hard core. And that's what I'm doing. There is no losing here for me. That's just not an option. My only viewpoint can ever possibly be optimism and positive vibes!

So before I say goodbye for this post, I will leave you with a few fun pictures of my hair-cutting experience! Enjoy!

Some "Before" Shots


Mike, the scary hair stylist:

Cutting of the ponytail:

Me holding the cut-off ponytail:

My hacked-up haircut, more hacking needed, almost ready for the clippers:


My little cheerleader, Logan, even let us give him a ponytail:

Bald is beautiful! Here I am now!

2nd Chemo Today

I have my 2nd chemotherapy treatment today. I'm just about ready to leave the house. I have lab work at 11, a doctor's appointment with Dr. Voelzke at 11:30 and then my chemo should start around 12 or 12:30 and lasts about 4 hours. I won't be home until about 5:30ish tonight. I'll probably be really, really tired tonight like I was after the last chemo, so don't look for any more updates to the blog this evening. I'll try to update as soon as I can though!

And on the hair front... I've probably lost about 50% or more of my hair in the last two weeks. It's been a gradual, thinning process. It's to the point now, though, that so many strands are coming out each time I shower and comb my hair that I will probably cut and buzz the rest off very, very soon. I'm thinking tonight or tomorrow. It's just getting so annoying being so thin... and really, what's the point in keeping it now and just watching it fall out more and more each day, making a mess?

I appreciate the thoughts, prayers, and cards I've received from so many. It feels so good to know I'm on so many prayer lists and so many friends are thinking of me. Thank you all for that soooo much!