After the 2nd Chemo & My New Bald Debut

On Monday, before going for chemo, I had blood work done and met with Dr. Voelzke. My blood work came back fantastic. Surely that's in part to the "growth shot" as they call it (Neulesta) to make my body's bone marrow produce more blood cells. With my blood cell counts (CBC) being in the range they want, that's always good because it means no delays for me on my scheduled chemo. The doctor also did a physical exam of my lymph nodes, and already after only 1 chemo treatment he said he only felt what seemed like muscle fullness in my neck, but could not feel the enlarged nodes, whereas before he could easily feel them through my skin. So this is good news also... it means the nodes are shrinking in size. And that was after only ONE chemo!!!

I had my 2nd chemo treatment after meeting with the doctor. It seems to have gone more smoothly this time for me. I had already gone through it all once so I knew exactly what to expect, and since I'd gone through with flying colors (no drug reactions) the first time, they could speed the drip a little bit so it didn't take as long as it did the first time. They started me on my IV around 12:45 or 1:00 and we were done at exactly 3:30. I didn't feel quite as tired this time around, but definitely felt more light-headed which worried me as I thought I might get really bad nausea once I got home, but nope... I had none. After getting home, I went down for a nap at 5:30 and didn't get up until 9:30. Then I watched t.v. for a while and fell asleep around 1:30 and woke up at 11:30 the next morning. So I got a great night's sleep plus that nap.

Tuesday my friend Mike drove me to get the Neulesta shot. That went easy as pie again and we were in and out of the office in about 10 minutes. Afterward, we took Logan and had dinner out and then came home. I was feeling brave and definitely felt ready to take the next step... my hair was getting messy and falling out in larger pieces and clumps each day. It was becoming depressing combing so much of it out each time I'd shower or even feeling it all coming out while I was washing my hair in the shower. I was ready. So with the moral support of my best friend, Mike, and my grandma Hilda and, of course, my little cheerleader, Logan, we cut and shaved my hair.

I have to admit, I'm really, really proud of myself. I thought I'd cry or bawl my eyes out. I didn't. I was so strong. I believe I was truly ready to do it. I'd mentally prepared myself for a couple of weeks now as to how it was going to be without hair. All the praying I've done and others has done has truly been working in my life. I might have cancer, but I'm at the strongest I've ever been in my life. I owe that all to God and the support of my many friends and family praying for me and just sending so much love my way. And before you go thinking I'm all heroic and super-woman-like, I'm not. I'm just like you, or anyone else you know. When faced with something like this, a person's natural instincts are going to tell them to fight it. Hard core. And that's what I'm doing. There is no losing here for me. That's just not an option. My only viewpoint can ever possibly be optimism and positive vibes!

So before I say goodbye for this post, I will leave you with a few fun pictures of my hair-cutting experience! Enjoy!

Some "Before" Shots


Mike, the scary hair stylist:

Cutting of the ponytail:

Me holding the cut-off ponytail:

My hacked-up haircut, more hacking needed, almost ready for the clippers:


My little cheerleader, Logan, even let us give him a ponytail:

Bald is beautiful! Here I am now!

GREAT NEWS!!

I went for my oncology appointment this afternoon... Dr. Voelzke walked in the room and said, "I have an early Christmas present for you!" and I said, "I take it that means you have some really good news for us?"

The PET scan came back with nothing more than the CT scan from a couple weeks ago showed... the lymphoma is only in the nodes on both sides of my neck. And... my bone marrow biopsy came back clean! He said I am only considered to have Stage 1A cancer...basically the lowest stage you can have. It was caught super early! Praise the Lord!

I'll still undergo chemotherapy, just not as much as we were originally thinking... so that is GREAT news. I will only do 2 rounds of chemo and then have some radiation when finished with the chemo. A "round" of chemo is basically 28 days (1 month) -- so I'll have 2 months of chemo where I go every 2 weeks. In basic terms, this means I'll have 4 actual times of going for chemotherapy treatment. He said each treatment lasts approximately 4 hours. My first chemo treatment will be next Monday, December 29th.

He's already prescribed the BEST anti-nausea meds on the market... he said they are one of the newest approved, and best... apparently they must be super because the cost of them sure is. If you don't have insurance, the retail cost is about $400 for THREE pills. That's insane. I have GOOD insurance... my copay -- you won't believe it: $9.00!

Oh, another excellent thing: Because I'll only undergo 2 (possibly 3 at most) rounds of chemo, this means my chances of remaining capable of having more children are really good and my eggs shouldn't be affected... The doc told me that I could possibly try to have another baby as early as 3 months after going into remission. I'm so excited to hear this since I was worried what the chemo would do to my eggs and if we'd be able to have another baby someday!

Praise God for this wonderful news and for excellent health insurance. I am so blessed. Even more than the insurance, I am blessed to have so many supporters praying for me and sending me tons of good vibes. Thank you all!!!

1st Appt with the Oncologist Today

I met with my Oncologist for the first time today. He's really, really nice, and seems to be very thorough. I'm so relieved that I like him and he seems to know exactly what precautions and steps to take to see that we really get this thing. He seemed optimistic that, no matter what stage this cancer is, I can beat it. He said Hodgkin's is one of the most curable cancers and they have excellent treatment options for it.

I'm still in the "staging" process where we're determining just how spread out the cancer is. The CT scan was a good indicator that it's not too bad, but he wants me to have a PET scan which will give him much better, clearer, more defined results. Also, because of the itching and hives being a B symptom of Hodgkin's, he wants me to also have a bone marrow biopsy to be sure it hasn't spread into my bone marrow. That part sounds a little scary and a little painful, but it has to be done.

He said it's general rule with this cancer to use Chemotherapy to treat it, and possibly Radiation. I can't remember all the technical names for the drugs in my chemo blend being used, but because of one of them, he said it's much safer to administer it using a port/catheter connected to a larger vein rather than the smaller veins in my arms. The port will be a little oval shaped thing placed just under the skin in my chest, and that's where they will administer the chemo.

My next appointment with him is on December 22nd. He said before that appointment that I will have the PET scan, port placement, and bone marrow biopsy all done. That means in the next week and half I'll undergo those three things. It sounds like a lot to do before then. I'm already sick of doctor's appointments and this is just getting started.

I did ask him about the possibility of becoming sterile and not being able to have any more children because of the drugs and he said it IS a possibility. There are options I have (possibly freezing eggs is one of the options I guess) but we'll talk about those more before I actually start chemotherapy. Also, one of the risks of one of the chemo drugs that will be used is possible damage to lung tissues and heart tissue, so before I will start treatment, I'll undergo a lung test and also an echocardiogram and my heart and lungs will be closely monitored along the way.

I don't feel too bad tonight, just tired and a little drained from the emotion of all this. I am really glad to know he's doing these additional steps to be more certain of how serious the cancer is. I was a little apprehensive about the appointment, but now I feel good about things and that I have a good Oncologist.

That's all for now. It's a lot of information to take in for one day. I should hear back from the lady at his office who will set all my appointments tomorrow and she'll tell me the specifics of when/where I go for all the things I mentioned above.

Thanks so much for taking the time to read this and for keeping me in your thoughts and prayers!

Feeling optimistic & a huge thank you!

I just want to say thank you so, so, so, so much to all of my friends who've taken the time to send me a quick little message or e-mail. It means so much to me that you're thinking about me and praying for me and sending good thoughts my way. There is much to be said about the outlook we take on things. I really feel like "attitude is everything" and by staying positive, things will take a positive turn and I'll have a good outcome.

It feels like, for the past several days, all I've been talking about with people is what's going on with me. To some, maybe it's weird to want to keep talking about this since it's such a scary thing. But, for me, I'm finding it's really theraputic to discuss (even though it does still seem surreal to me) and it's a relief to talk with those close to me about my fears and worries and what's on my mind. I need an outlet to vent my feelings, frustrations, and worries. Thank you all for even taking the time to listen to me and for just being so supportive.

Before this, I never knew anyone personally who had received a cancer diagnosis. I never knew just how scary it was for them. Mostly, I never realized how even the smallest gestures or what may seem like the most minute phrases truly mean to someone who is ill. It's got to be hard on the healthy person's end as well... I imagine it's hard to find words that you feel truly convey how sorry you are to hear the bad news about someone and to find a way to tell them you care. I just want to say, it doesn't really matter what you say, no matter how silly or small it may seem. Just taking the time to say, "I'm thinking about you" or "I'm praying for you." means SO much.

On that note, enough mushy stuff... I got a beautiful Christmas Cactus plant delivered from the local florist shop today from my mom and stepdad, John. I was filled with such joy to see this. It really brightened my day! Here's a picture of it... I can't wait to see it bloom!!!



Thanks again to all of you. I love you all so much! Please remember to always look for beauty in every day. If any good can come out of me having cancer, it's that I'm looking at EVERYTHING in an entirely different way. I'm "stopping to smell the roses". Here's a picture I snapped earlier this evening of the purple-ish pink sky as the sun was setting through the woods across from my house. I thought it was so pretty and just wanted to remember that moment.